Basically NLP’s communication model says that when we receive messages, our brain will process, filter and alter it. These messages become certain meaning to the recipient depending on many factors. And whatever this meaning might be, couple with the recipient’s physical posture, it ultimately determines the recipient’s BEHAVIOUR. And of course, the behaviour will have a direct impact on the result. That means to say, if a person wants to have solid result in things he/she is doing, he/she must change to a positive posture and do something such that whatever message the brain processes, the meaning to it is always positive. Hence, when the internal representation and the physical appearance both turned positive, the recipient would take massive and unstoppable actions to get what he/she wants.
The question is – how to make sure that our brain will always interpret messages positively? That’s why people pay a few thousand dollars for NLP programme. And if you think that I can share with you the course detail such that you can acquire the skill by just reading notes, you are dreaming. Can you learn driving or ballet by reading blogs? Not likely. Besides, there are quite a number of NLP tools to use and I’m not even competence in any of them. I mean get real; a person cannot be competent by attending a 6-day coaching.
My Second Struggle
When the programme started on 17 Jul, I had another problem and a serious one. Not many people knew that I had a medical condition – hearing problem. Sometime in May this year, my hearing started to deteriorate and doctors just simply gave me medicines and eardrop. And it got worst by the time I started the NLP programme. I totally have no mood to continue with the programme as I am worried that I might turn deaf. If that happens, I will lose my job and become a burden to my parents. In fact, my hearing problem was one of the factors that upset me in May and I’ve been running around clinics/polyclinic since then.
I told my NLP trainer on my personal problem and he advised me to focus on controllable things – to see specialists (he shared during 1st day training that highly effective people focus on controllable things). The final outcome is beyond my control. He wants me to think on the positive side. Finally I went to see the specialist and still continue with the NLP programme.
First 3 days
During the first 3 days, we gone through quite a number of tools such as NLP’s presuppositions which to-date, I still could not fully appreciate the concept. There are 14 presuppositions but some of them seems to be repeating especially those related to “behaviour” or “resources”.
And one thing very important to highlight here is that NLP tools do not provide solutions to clients’ problem. These tools are not designed to provide solution but to guide the client to get the solution from himself. Doctors seek to provide solution to client’s problem, but not NLP tools!
We also touched on how to use our senses to build rapport, to influence and improve communications. For example by taking note on client’s breathing, skin colour, by mirroring client’s habit/movement, by chunking up/down the messages, submodalities, swish patterns etc. I’ll just share one exercise here – sensory acuity (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting). It is very important to “sense” what’s going around us (in Mandarin we call that as 知自知彼，百战百胜):
- Feedback /information that indicates the extent to which you are on or off target in achieving your outcomes.
- Other people’s actions and reactions to certain situations/stimuli.
- How you are reacting to certain situations/stimuli.
To practice your sensory acuity, you can do this simple exercise with someone. This exercise is a two-person exercise - A and B. B’s job is to observe A. To simplify the discussion, let us assume A is a male and B a female.
1. A clear his mind so as to be in neutral state, closes his eyes and thinks of someone he dislikes.
2. While A thinks about this person, B takes note of any physiological reaction on A such as tension around the eyes, changes in skin colour, heavy breathing etc.
3. Once step 2 is completed, ask A any irrelevant question or remarks such as “can I borrow $50 from you?” This is called a break state and it clears the mind of the internal representations of the person A dislikes.
4. A closes his eyes and thinks of someone he likes while B repeats step 2.
5. A break state by stretching and/or looking out the window.
6. Now B describe to A her observation when A was thinking of someone he likes and dislikes.
7. A chooses one of the two people he thought about earlier and does not tell B which person it is. He closes his eyes and thinks of this person again.
8. From what she observed earlier, B tells A who A is thinking about.
…… to be continue
The question is – how to make sure that our brain will always interpret messages positively? That’s why people pay a few thousand dollars for NLP programme. And if you think that I can share with you the course detail such that you can acquire the skill by just reading notes, you are dreaming. Can you learn driving or ballet by reading blogs? Not likely. Besides, there are quite a number of NLP tools to use and I’m not even competence in any of them. I mean get real; a person cannot be competent by attending a 6-day coaching.
My Second Struggle
When the programme started on 17 Jul, I had another problem and a serious one. Not many people knew that I had a medical condition – hearing problem. Sometime in May this year, my hearing started to deteriorate and doctors just simply gave me medicines and eardrop. And it got worst by the time I started the NLP programme. I totally have no mood to continue with the programme as I am worried that I might turn deaf. If that happens, I will lose my job and become a burden to my parents. In fact, my hearing problem was one of the factors that upset me in May and I’ve been running around clinics/polyclinic since then.
I told my NLP trainer on my personal problem and he advised me to focus on controllable things – to see specialists (he shared during 1st day training that highly effective people focus on controllable things). The final outcome is beyond my control. He wants me to think on the positive side. Finally I went to see the specialist and still continue with the NLP programme.
First 3 days
During the first 3 days, we gone through quite a number of tools such as NLP’s presuppositions which to-date, I still could not fully appreciate the concept. There are 14 presuppositions but some of them seems to be repeating especially those related to “behaviour” or “resources”.
And one thing very important to highlight here is that NLP tools do not provide solutions to clients’ problem. These tools are not designed to provide solution but to guide the client to get the solution from himself. Doctors seek to provide solution to client’s problem, but not NLP tools!
We also touched on how to use our senses to build rapport, to influence and improve communications. For example by taking note on client’s breathing, skin colour, by mirroring client’s habit/movement, by chunking up/down the messages, submodalities, swish patterns etc. I’ll just share one exercise here – sensory acuity (seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and tasting). It is very important to “sense” what’s going around us (in Mandarin we call that as 知自知彼，百战百胜):
- Feedback /information that indicates the extent to which you are on or off target in achieving your outcomes.
- Other people’s actions and reactions to certain situations/stimuli.
- How you are reacting to certain situations/stimuli.
To practice your sensory acuity, you can do this simple exercise with someone. This exercise is a two-person exercise - A and B. B’s job is to observe A. To simplify the discussion, let us assume A is a male and B a female.
1. A clear his mind so as to be in neutral state, closes his eyes and thinks of someone he dislikes.
2. While A thinks about this person, B takes note of any physiological reaction on A such as tension around the eyes, changes in skin colour, heavy breathing etc.
3. Once step 2 is completed, ask A any irrelevant question or remarks such as “can I borrow $50 from you?” This is called a break state and it clears the mind of the internal representations of the person A dislikes.
4. A closes his eyes and thinks of someone he likes while B repeats step 2.
5. A break state by stretching and/or looking out the window.
6. Now B describe to A her observation when A was thinking of someone he likes and dislikes.
7. A chooses one of the two people he thought about earlier and does not tell B which person it is. He closes his eyes and thinks of this person again.
8. From what she observed earlier, B tells A who A is thinking about.
…… to be continue
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